Becoming Bella

I often wonder if I hate myself more than others for the things I’ve said, the thoughts I’ve thought, and my actions behind closed doors. It’s easy to feel guilty when you’ve been caught, but what about the things you’ve thought that went unsaid and unheard?

Humans are unkind, more often to themselves than even others. Or sometimes more unkind to others in reflection of their own self-hate.

Despite this, I beg you to forgive yourself. Forgive others, even those who have not apologized. Stop living with regrets, forgive yourself, and change. I’d rather never get an apology from the people who have wronged me, but rather see them change into people who never would have. Apologies are futile without actions. They are words without meaning, fillers in life that lack significance.

So I beg you to forgive yourself, forgive others, and move forward.

I’ve found that it’s so easy to find yourself trapped imagining conversations and apologies you may never hear. I’ve detailed the perfect comebacks for conversations I’ll never have. I used to find myself more worried about the past than excited about the future. Stuck in moments that are long over.

So, I’m here to say that you can move on without an apology, but you can not move on without forgiveness.

XOXO B